let’s hope 2-0-6 is better than 2-0-5.

i’m making spiced cider, family recipe eggnog (potent!), fresh bread, and setting up the chocolate fountain. come on over and get some!

ah, an on to the other business:

last week i made a 4 year old boy cry. more than anything i feel sorry for him. my FamUnit was at Chik-Fil-A, and it was officially time for the girls to go play in the play area, having eaten their food. in this particular play area there was a toddler section with a playhouse/tree thing. there were ongoing battles as to whom was the rightful owner of said treehouse. i understand that a certain amount of pushing and squabbling is part of the toddler Thing, and i was mostly ok with it, no tears, all good.

and then…. this kid pushed Yvonne so hard that her head makes a big hefty thump on the inside of the treehouse. Yvonne screams, i turn into MomBot: Pwner of Justice. i get in there, calm Yvonne down and then tell this kid “you don’t push! i don’t care that you’re mom’s not in here, but i have a right mind to go tell her what you did!” to which the kid begins screaming at the top of his lungs and crying “no! no! no! don’t tell my mom! no!” in a way that suggested to me he was more afraid than mad. so i say (in the royalty granting mercy tone) “ok, i won’t tell her *this time*, but you’d better be sure not to push anyone like that again.” and then i take Yvonne and Zella, and we leave the play area.

while leaving i noticed the kid’s mom. she had been on a cellphone since the time she walked into the foodstore. her attitude suggested that even if i did tell her she wouldn’t care too much, and would probably yell at me for commenting on her Mad Parenting Skillz.

there’s a sign on the way into the play area, it says: Do Not Leave Child Unattended. every other parent there understood that it was not only to protect their child, but to protect other people’s children from theirs. we were all doing quite well in there, in our socks, and then this kid comes in (leaving the shoes on), yelling, pushing…. and all to children younger than him, mostly girls. what’s wrong with this picture? and i’m the bad guy for making him cry?

whatever. a new year approaches! let’s get drunk!

i’m not one to usually get excited about this kind of thing, but..

the Starbucks in my neighborhood that has been being built for the last month or so is finally open! yay!!

it’s stupid, but i’ve had pocket cash in my purse waiting for it to open since i saw the tables outside. this is a big thing for this city, nay, this neighborhood, because this is one of four in town. it’s also stupid, but i know that because of the location the value of our house will go up.

the bummer was that every couple of days when i went to run my errands i’d look to see if it was open, not yet… not yet… not…yet… and then the day i come down with a nasty stomach flu (thus not requiring or even *wanting* coffee).. guess what? it opened.

but all is forgiven. i got my coffee from my local coffee conglomerate today. i’m actually happy that there is *any* coffeehouse open next to my house within reasonable walking/biking distance. coffee is good, and i can’t brew cappuccino worth beans.

why do one’s worst inner demons only come out when one is too tired to fight them? i guess if they didn’t they wouldn’t be the worst.

if you have kids and are divorced, or ever get divorced, do something for me…
even if it feels good to do it, don’t ever play headgames with your children. never ever, ever. never. don’t ever try to make them think that the other parent doesn’t love them. if you are the other parent, and you don’t love them, don’t ever let on.

otherwise your kids end up like me, worried about whether they are being a good parent all the time, but not able to look back at what their parents did for ideas, tired from a long day of being with their own children, unable to cope with bad memories.

Mother, you had me
but I never had you,
I wanted you
you didn’t want me,
So I just got to tell you,
Goodbye, goodbye.

so, i got a bill today from a medical billing place. they want around 380$ from me for an ER visit back in september.

i would be ok with it… except… 380$ for nothing. i went to the ER because of a really fierce pain i was having. i saw a doctor for all of 5 minutes, they said “well, i don’t see anything wrong with you. here’s some tramadol, follow up with your doctor.” no ultrasound, no tests, no nothing! (add. i take that back, i got one blood/oxygen level test. that was itemized on the bill. 50$) i was in there for around 2 hours waiting. add to that that i’ve already gotten a bill from the *hospital*, who wants 200$ from me or so. that makes sense, but i’m being billed for doctor’s services when i didn’t actually get any. is this something i can dispute? probably not.

the kicker is this: i went to my regular doctor (whom i see for The Pill and the occasional checkup), and he did an ultrasound, and found that it was a large bloody cyst on one side of my ovaries. more pain meds for when the rupture happens (which it did a week later), a query as to whether i’m ready for a hysterectomy (i graciously declined… i was 23 for chrissake!) and i’m on my way. how fucking hard was that? but no. i’m being charged for nothing.

speaking of cysts…. the reason i went to the ER to begin with was that i was under the impression that i wouldn’t have any recurring cysts after the girls were born, so i was worried it was appendicitis or some such thing. now, who would have put that idea in my head? yeah, my FORMER OB/GYN. when i was thinking of doing the whole baby thing (based on evidence that i would be increasingly infertile as the years went on) she suggested that my polycystic ovarian would be remedied. what a fucking load of bunk that was. well, i take it back: it was gone for all of 2-1/2 years, pregnancy and birth, up until this last september. and i have yet another cyst in the brewing as we speak.

i was sitting in the bath when i had this epiphany: could it be that my (former) OB was telling me this so i could feel obligated to take fertility pills and then in turn have to use her birthing services? oh, i would have been quite the buffer to her checking account if i had followed up on that second half. twins! *shriek* ohmygod, that’s, like, an instant c-section! *shriekshriek!* breech! yah, totally. whoopee! more money for the OB (who probably wouldn’t have been there for the actual birth, especially since she told me that i’d better birth between 8am and 6pm monday through thursday or she wasn’t going to do it.

and people give me the hairy eyeball when i decline western medical treatment unless absolutely necessary. doctors (in my opinion) are mostly only good for fixing things that are really wrong, not preventing or treating things that are a little wrong. and for what it’s worth, i don’t think that childbirth is a disease, so why would i have done it in a hospital if i had truly taken care of myself and was feeling very confident that all was well in the womb?

aha, speaking of belly fruit (or fruits in my case), it’s almost time for potty training. i’m relieved at the thought of less-to-no diapers, but i’m terrified of the actual process. in the end i know i’ll probably do ok, after all, the girls aren’t permanently fucked up as yet, despite my best efforts. :-)

i was standing in a courthouse, facing a judge. muppet was there too. there were two witnesses, although i had never seen them in my life.

five years ago today muppet and me were married!